How I feel
by Tiger-Lillie1001
Summary: Riley is hurt by Maya and Lucas's relationship, but doesn't want to sacrifice their happiness for her own. Her Uncle Josh convinces her sometimes you have to sacrifice others feelings to save your own.
1. Chapter 1

Riley x Lucas Maya x Josh

 _Riley's POV_

Lucas and Maya were on another date, Farkle was at some science competition, Zay was back in Texas, visiting Vanessa, and Mom and Dad had taken Auggie to see a movie. I was sitting in my room, home alone, wishing I had someone to talk to. Charlie and I hadn't worked out very well and decided to just stay friends, so I didn't really have him to talk to, besides, how could I talk to him about how I was hurting over Lucas

I pushed my headphones in and turned the volume up all the way, the music making my ears hurt a little. I lay my head back and thought about Maya. I had lied when I said I loved Lucas like a brother, I loved him, but not like that. I loved him like I wanted to be the one he took on dates and I wanted to wake up to his smiling face one day. I wanted to be Mrs. Riley Friar and have a future with him.

I didn't hear the door open or my name being called, but I felt the bed dip from someone sitting on it. I jumped and snapped my eyes open, looking at Uncle Josh, he smiled as I pulled the headphones out.

"Hello, Riley." He said pulling me into a hug. I sighed and hugged him back. "Woah, where is my hyper niece?" I forced a smile.

"Hi, Uncle Josh." I leaned back and picked my phone up, checking the time. Maya would be calling soon with details of her date.

"What's up? Why do you look so grumpy?" He poked my cheek. My eyes filled with tears as I realized how much I missed him, how Maya was crazy over him.

"Maya and Lucas are dating." I whispered, the tears falling down my face. I wiped them away for the thousandth time today. He watched, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Lucas, the guy you kissed?" I blushed and nodded. "I thought you two were dating?"

"No, it's a long story." I sighed again.

"I've got time." He leaned back on the couch. I looked at him wondering if he would understand what I was trying to do, or if he would tell me to try to be happy like everyone else. Finally I decided it might be worth it to tell him how I felt.

I launched into the story of how Maya and I signed Lucas up to ride Tombstone the bull and how I realized Maya had feelings for him, how I stepped back, my date with Charlie and how it didn't work out, and how I was hurting now. He listened and watched as I tried not to cry, but broke in the end.

"I don't know what to do." I sobbed, my hands covering my eyes.

"I think you need to do what makes you happy," I looked up at him. "Tell Lucas how you feel."

"I-I can't. He's d-dating M-Maya." I choked out. He pulled me into another hug, trying to calm me down.

"Riley, sometimes you have to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of others." He said, stroking my hair the way Mom does when I'm sad.

"I know."

"But sometimes, you have to sacrifice other people's happiness for you to be happy." I pulled away and looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Tell Lucas how you feel, if he doesn't feel the same, at least it's out there and Maya will still be happy. If he does, then maybe he'll choose you."

"But then Maya will be sad."

"I'll take care of Maya if she is. OK?"

I thought about it, I wanted to be happy, but I wanted Maya to be happy too.

"OK."

 _The next day_

"Guess who came to visit." I said as I opened my locker. Maya stood beside me, a smile on her lips as she watched Lucas talk to Zay, who had gotten back this morning. This was the first time I had gotten to talk to her all day.

"Who?" Maya asked, not looking away from the two boys.

"Uncle Josh." Her eyes snapped towards me.

"Uncle Boing?"

"Yeah. He's on break at NYU." She rubbed the palm of her hands on her jeans and glanced at Lucas.

"Oh."

"You wanna come over tonight and see him?" She looked nervous.

"O-OK, sure."

"See you then." I turned and walked to my Dad's classroom, so we take the subway home together.

Uncle Josh and I had a plan, he would distract Maya while I talked to Lucas. I knew he would be there tonight, I had already talked to him this morning while Maya had gone to the bathroom. I wasn't too happy about doing this, but Uncle Josh was right, I had to be happy.

"Ready to go Dad?" I asked as I stepped inside his room, he smiled and nodded.

The intercom buzzed, telling us there was someone wanting to come up.

"It's us." Maya's voice said. Auggie pushed the button letting them in. I glanced at Uncle Josh, nervous this wouldn't work.

The door opened a few seconds later as Maya led the way inside. She froze slightly when she saw my uncle sitting on the couch with me.

"Hey Josh." Lucas greeted him, smiling. Uncle Josh stood and shook his hand.

"Lucas, Maya good to see you both." He smiled, mostly at Maya. Lucas's eyes wondered to me, lingering at my face.

"Hi, Maya." I said, standing. She looked at me and smiled.

"Riley, hey." She hugged me, she was shaking. I didn't understand, Maya was losing her cool.

She pulled away and looked between the two in front of us.

"I-I need a drink." She went to the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge. The boys looked at me confused. I bit my lip, wondering if I should go through with this.

My mind flashed back to last night when Maya had called. She told me about how Lucas held her hand and kissed her cheek. Jealousy filled my chest as I turned to Uncle Josh. I nodded slightly which was our signal to start the plan.

He started over to Maya while I turned to Lucas.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked. He smiled.

"You can always talk to me, you know that." I smiled and led the way to my bedroom.

 _Maya's POV_

I saw Riley and Lucas start to go to Riley's bedroom. I set the bottle I was clutching down and started to follow them.

"Hey, Maya." Josh said, stopping me. He stood between me and the way to Riley's room.

"H-hi." What was going on with me? I was never this nervous.

"It's been a while."

"Yeah," I swallowed thickly and looked at my feet, my shoes suddenly becoming interesting. I needed to talk to Riley "Riley said you're on break from NYU."

"Yeah, I'm going back next week."

"C-cool." What were Riley and Lucas doing? Where was Farkle when I needed him?

"Yeah. You're going into high school right?" I nodded.

"Yeah." I breathed. He was silent for a second, before he lifted my chin with his fingers.

"You know, Maya, I've been thinking and maybe since I'll be in the city more…"

"I'm sorry, I have to talk to Riley." I pushed passed him.

 _Riley's POV_

"So, what'd you want to talk about?" Lucas asked as we sat in the bay window. I was nervous now, but I couldn't turn back, I had to do this. He wouldn't look at me.

"Lucas, we have been through a lot. You were my first crush, first date, first kiss, a lot of firsts. I miss you."

"I'm right here, Riley." He finally looked at me.

"I know, but now you're with Maya."

"Actually I wanted to talk to you about that."

"Oh, OK?"

"There's another girl I like, more than Maya and I don't know what to do."

"Oh. Well, what is she like?"

"She's amazing, beautiful, funny, but something happened between us and I don't know if I can change it."

"What happened?" Jealousy took back over, who was this other girl?

"She told me she loved me like her brother," My eyes widened as I realized he was talking about me. "I don't love her like a sister."

"How do you love her?" He glanced at my lips then back as my eyes before leaning in. I felt myself leaning towards him. My lips barely brushed his when the door slammed open and Maya came in. I jumped back and looked at her. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she ran to me, sitting in my lap. She put her arms around my neck as she sobbed.

"Maya, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm confused." She wailed. I looked at Lucas, he nodded and stood up, leaving the room.

"What are you confused about?"

"Lucas told me there was another girl on the way here, but he didn't know what to do and now Josh is flirting with me." She sobbed. I felt so guilty at the moment, she was losing her cool because Lucas felt something for another girl. She was scared of losing him.

"It's OK, Maya." I said, trying to calm her down.

"I want to make things work with Lucas, but I don't think I like him the way I thought." She lifted her head and looked at me. She had calmed down some, but was still crying.

"What?" I asked. She slid onto the window seat beside me and put her elbows on her knees.

"Lucas is a great guy and all, but I don't want to compete with another girl."

"It might not mean anything, he might…"

"I know the other girl is you." She interrupted me. I looked at the floor as she looked at me.

"We almost kissed before you came in here." I whispered. She nodded and hung her head. Someone knocked on my door. I got up and opened it, Uncle Josh and Lucas stood on the other side, looks of concern written on their faces. I let them in. Josh sat beside Maya and tried to get her to look at him.

I avoided looking at Lucas, more guilt washing over me.

"Lucas, why don't you take Riley to that place Topanga took over." Uncle Josh said, he had an arm around Maya, trying to get her to calm down. Lucas looked at me, I nodded and followed him out the window.

We sat in our chairs with smoothies, the intern Mom hired was behind the counter cleaning everything up.

"About earlier." Lucas started.

"Don't worry about it, Maya will be fine." I said.

"I was talking about what happened between us."

"Oh." I played with the straw in my dark pink drink.

"Riley, I want to try to make us work again. I know you have been miserable since I started dating Maya." Was I that obvious?

"What about Maya's happiness?"

"I talked to Josh about it, he's gonna take care of her," I chewed on my lip, scared of what would happen next. "Riley, may I kiss you?" Lucas asked, pushing my hair behind my ear.

I looked up at him and considered my options. I did want him to kiss me, but I didn't want anything between us to be weird again. I wanted to be able to talk to him, to pour my heart out, but at the same time, there was nothing I wanted more than for him to tell me he loved me. Finally, I smiled and nodded.

"You may." He smiled before leaning in and pressing his lips gently on mine. My heart fluttered in my chest.

"Do you want to do this?" He asked, breaking this kiss and leaning his forehead against mine.

"Yeah, I do." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

"I really like you Riley Matthews."

"I really like you too, Lucas Friar."

 _Maya's POV_

"Maya, look at me," Josh said, close to my ear. I gave in and lifted my head, looking at him. He was exactly as I remembered him the last time he was in the city. "Please, stop crying."

"My boyfriend just broke up with me for my best friend. I think I deserve to cry." I wiped my eyes and frowned.

"Were you really happy with Lucas?" He asked. I shrugged, unwilling to admit I wasn't as happy as I appeared. I did like Lucas, but I liked him better when we were just friends.

"I don't know, but I know he would be happier with Riley."

"Why?"

"Riley is what he needs. He acts happy around me, but I know he's not. He always spaces out and he always stares at her."

"Lucas told me he loves Riley."

"I know he does."

"Let him be happy with her. You can be happy with me." I furrowed my eye brows.

"You said there was too much of an age difference for us."

"I thought about it, three years isn't really that much," He smiled a little. "What do you say?"

I thought about it, trying to weight my options like Riley would, but gave up on that. I nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, I want to be happy." His smile grew as he kissed my cheek. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and my skin tingled where his lips had touched.

"Let's go find Riley and Lucas. Tell them the good news." I smiled and let him take my hand. We climbed out the window and started to Topanga's. This had to be the best night of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Riley." Charlie called as I closed my locker.

"Hi, Charlie." I smiled at him.

"So you and Lucas now?"

"Yeah." I felt a little embarrassed. The news of Lucas and Maya breaking up made everyone talk, especially when the found out I was dating him.

"What happened to him and Maya?"

"They weren't as happy as they thought they would be. Maya is dating my uncle now." It felt weird to say that. Charlie raised an eye brow at me. "He's three years older than us."

"Oh, I'll see you later OK?" I nodded as he walked away. I turned to see if Farkle was done talking to my father yet when he came out of the room.

"Your dad wants to see you." He said confused.

"Do you know what about?"

"No, but he wants to see Lucas too." Oh, no. We was planning on telling him, but was waiting until the right time. I swallowed thickly and smiled at Farkle.

"Thanks," I went in the room and stood in front of my dad. "You wanted to see me?" I asked. Lucas walked in as I finished speaking.

"Both of you, have a seat." Dad said. I glanced at Lucas as we sat in the first two chair. He looked nervous.

"So, when were you planning on telling me about you two?" He asked. I shrank in my seat.

"We wanted to wait until the right time." I said. Dad looked at Lucas, then back at me.

"Did you think I wouldn't find out? Maya is dating my brother now." He looked uncomfortable saying that, just like I had.

"I'm sorry Daddy." He smiled.

"You are dismissed," Lucas and I stood up, but he stopped us. "Not you." He looked at Lucas. I went into the hallway but listened in to what they were saying.

"I'm not happy about you dating my daughter." Dad said.

"I know Sir."

"But I have to admit, you are a better choice for her than most guys." I smiled.

"Thank you Sir. I promise I won't do anything to hurt Riley."

"I know you won't. You're dismissed." Lucas walked out of the room and smiled.

"Ready to go home?" I asked. He nodded and took my hand.

 _Maya's POV_

I walked out of the school behind a group of loud girls. I started to pull my phone out to call Josh, but jumped when someone pulled me into a hug. I looked up at Josh's smiling face.

"Hey." I smiled and pecked his cheek.

"Hey, no Riley?"

"Lucas is going to walk her home." He nodded and took my hand as we started the walk to Topanga's. It had become a routine to go there after school every day.

"So, how is middle school?"

"Boring, how's college?"

"Same." I smiled as the girls I followed out of the school stared at me in jealousy.

It didn't take long to get to Topanga's, Farkle was there with Zay, since they were the ones with girlfriends who were busy or in a different state. They were playing some card game, Zay trying to explain it to Farkle.

"Hey, Mom." I said. Mom smiled at Josh and I. She wasn't excited about us dating, but decided he was better than most guys.

"Hi, Honey. Strawberry Banana?" We both nodded and went to sit beside Farkle and Zay.

"No, that's not a flush." Zay said.

"What are you playing?" I asked.

"Poker," Farkle said. "Is this?"

"No." Zay smiled. Josh moved over to help Farkle. I watched for a minute before seeing Riley and Lucas come in, holding hands, smiling and talking. I felt a wave of jealousy before remember what happened. We weren't very happy together, I had Josh now. I couldn't be happier.

 _Riley's POV_

"Isn't it weird that Maya could be your aunt one day?" Lucas asked as we walked down the steps to my mother's place.

"A little, but she's happy with him." I smiled. We walked in, Lucas went to get our drinks. I saw Maya sitting with Uncle Josh, Farkle, and Zay. I went over and sat beside her.

"Hey Sunshine." Maya looked at me, her eyes shining.

"Hey. Wanna talk?" She asked. I stood and led the way outside to the steps. We sat beside each other.

"So, what is it like to date my uncle?" I asked.

"I know you had that plan thing." My smile disappeared. Maya's face had taken a serious expression.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad, I just want to know why?" I bit my lip.

"I wasn't happy with how things turned out. I still loved Lucas, I knew you loved Josh. I just wanted to be happy. I'm sorry."

"It's OK, Rile's. Just come to me next time, don't scheme. It's not you." I smiled.

"Thanks." We stood and went back inside. I sat beside Lucas and smiled at him. He took my hand, lacing our fingers together. I looked at Uncle Josh, I noticed the way his eyes lit up when Maya sat beside him, when their knees brushed.

He put his arm around her and pulled her against his side. Maya blushed a little, biting her lip and looking at the floor.

Maybe this was how it was supposed to be with us. Me and Lucas, Maya and Josh, Farkle and Smakle, Zay and Vanessa, we were all happy.


End file.
